its not stalking. its research.
this boner is exhausting
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
