He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
