Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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