Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
