I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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