Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
