wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
