Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize