Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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