so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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