operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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