Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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