I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
