I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i came on her dog
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
