just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
