My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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