I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
