Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
