We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girl is more easily done than said...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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