when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
