help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
