ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
