only you would photoshop your dick
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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