White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize