Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
