is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
