Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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