You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
