I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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