she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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