Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
