Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
