I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i already hear my dad disowning me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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