So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
