I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
