I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
