whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize