When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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