after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
