I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
