Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am naked and annoyed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
