I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
