i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
