I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
