I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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