alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
