Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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