You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
