i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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