he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
