OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
We smell like vodka and hangover
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