just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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