I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
