and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize