that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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