no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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