I've blown a few things in my day
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And then my night got REAL pukey
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
