physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
