I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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