i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
