I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
