Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
