Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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