I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize