I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
