one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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