I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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