Who did Billy Mays play for?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
