I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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