saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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