I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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