It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My vagina just clenched in fear
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
