god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
